I wasn’t born to die, but I most assuredly will.

Do not wish away your life. It is the simple and sometimes mundane moments that somehow mean the most to us in the end. Whether it is the giggles of your children as you chase them around the house, the comfort of a good meal with the family after a long day of work, long talks with gentle souls about the passions of your heart, or the savory peace you feel as you encounter the Lord it is these moments that are worthy of investment. Lord I do not want to be so focused on the cares and concerns of tomorrow that I find myself wishing in the end. At the moment of my departure from this earth I want to look back with a somber sweetness on the memories of my son growing up, my wife’s radiant smile, and you’re overwhelming faithfulness and know that I didn’t save one ounce of the promise, purpose, or passion in my heart. I want to know that, whatever I “did”, wherever I “went”, I didn’t waste “it” on what doesn’t matter. This is not a pep talk. This is a bare naked assessment of our condition. I watched my father die right before my eyes at the age of fifty two. What did I see? I saw a man “wishing”. Wishing he was a better father. Wishing he was a better child. Wishing he still had the time to mend the things that needed mending, but realizing he didn’t. I sat at his side with tears gushing from my eyes partially because he was my father but partially because the look of regret is simply overwhelming. Every one of us will die at some point, which is non-negotiable (assuming the Lord does not come back by then). The part that we can control is what we do with the time that is given. Will we devote it to enjoying and indulging in the important pursuits of our lives like faith, family, and friends? Or will we let our heart intentions drift away and wake up one day old, bitter, and wishing for the only thing we cannot have? That is time. I think it is kind of ironic that “time” is chief among our afflictions yet we find ourselves wishing it away far too often. What got me thinking of this was reading parts of C.S. Lewis’ “A Grief Observed” and feeling compelled to talk about it. Lewis was writing and venting in a very personnel way about the lost of his wife in 1960. The popular Christian author works through his grief, frustration, and anger with God holding nothing back. He poses the question “is God good?” and if so why am I tempted to feel he is not. I encourage you all to read it (whether or not this subject applies to your life). As I finish I can give you one guarantee in this life. It is assured that we will endure trials, hardships, pain, and seasons of tragedy but it is more assured that whether the road of our testimony takes us through the path of sorrow, danger, or peace that He will never leave our side.


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